out of touch, out of mind?

I am compelled to write this, even though I realize it might cause more harm than good. Yet I cannot sit idly by and keep it all inside. I need to get it out in the open if for any other reason but my sanity.

I feel extremely out of touch with the Kiwanis family, especially those I served with while CKI Administrator. I do realize it is partially my fault, as I have dealt with the following in the past year:

• residual fallout stemming from the divorce (apparently it likes to linger)
• an accident leading to hand-surgery at the end of May
• having to put Lily down due to an intestial blockage in June
• moving during the summer
• and the on-going saga with my parentals

This is not meant to be a sob story as I’m not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. Nor is it a way to minimize issues/problems of others as I know everyone has a lot of things on their plates. I do understand that this does not excuse me being out of touch, but it does explain the why.

However, communication is a two-way street. It hurts that many people (minus about 8-10) whom I served with and thought were my friends didn’t even drop a note to say hi. Event invitations (i.e. dinners, b-day celebrations, district events) have fallen by the wayside. I wish I knew why this was the case.

I know the end of my term as CKI Administrator came at a less-than-perfect time and less than ideal circumstances. I’m happy to know that the district is in good hands, as that was my greatest concern. Yet I feel that since I am no longer Administrator, I am no longer worthy of being included. This might be extreme, but that’s how I feel. Regardless, it hurts any way you want to define it.

But why bring this up now? It's been eight months now, and I was hoping my attitude about the Kiwanis family would change. Sadly, it hasn't. I might even be a bit jaded. It’s hard to think that an organization that meant so much to me just doesn’t anymore.