being benny

"You mustn't mess me about. I know I may look like a rhinoceros, but I've got quite a thin skin really." ~ Benny, Circle of Friends

I know. It’s a quote from a chick flick. I generally don’t like chick flicks.

Admittedly, the main reason I saw this movie in 1995 was the lead actor. This was during my Chris O’Donnell phase and I saw pretty much anything he did during this period.

The premise of the movie, based on the novel by Maeve Binchy (note: I am not a fan of her other works), centers around Bernadette “Benny” Hogan (Minnie Driver) and her childhood friend Eve as they enter University College in Dublin and deal with the usual issues of college life. The main story line focuses Benny - a funny but insecure, overweight, plain-looking young woman - and her relationship with Jack Foley (O’Donnell), the star of the university’s rugby team. Benny quickly falls for Jack (and seeing my then infactuation with O’Donnell who could blame her?) But to the surprise of Benny (along with everyone else), Jack fancies her as well. This turn of events prompts Benny to ask “He could have anyone at all. Why would he look at me?”

The plot then follows their courtship as both learn lessons about friendship, betrayal, life and love. No, there is nothing unique or startling about this plot. And no, I won’t give away the ending on the off-chance you haven’t seen it but plan to see it.

But fifteen years later, Circle of Friends remains an exception to my usual movie tastes largely because I relate to Benny.

I still maintain that I was not a cute or attractive child or teenager. One might even say I was overweight and plain-looking (in part to attending a school like BHS 90210, east coast style), yet crushing on a football palyer who didn’t know I existed. Thus, figuring I wouldn’t get by on my looks, I fell back on my sense of humor and personality. Some will say I’m not overweight or plain-looking, but whatever. Truth be told, I’m in shock if someone actually thinks I’m attractive as I still see myself as that chunky, frizzy-haired, coke-bottle glasses wearing but funny kid. I know…insecure much? And really, why on earth would you look at or fancy that kid?

That being said, my personality and sense of humor have served me well for the most part. However, there is a down side. That same personality gives off the vibe that things don’t get to me and, to a lesser degree, I don’t really need positive reinforcement. As for the latter, I think everyone needs some kind of positive reinforcement but it’s not something everyone is willing to give. The former is is different story. Despite my happy-go-lucky exterior, things do get to me - perhaps more often than they should. My usual public response is to crack a joke (usually self-effacing) or laugh it off.

And for most part, no one is the wiser. But despite a tough exterior, some of that thin skin has likely been torn…

2632

If one looked at the lineup card for the Orioles/Yankees game on this date in 1998, one would have the nagging feeling something was missing. It wouldn't be until the lineup was announced at Camden Yards when everyone realized what that "something" was...

Cal Ripken Jr. was not announced in the starting lineup. History had been made. "The Streak" was over.

Yes, it is simply referred to as "The Streak". Ripken played in an astounding 2632 consecutive games, surpassing Lou Gehrig's record (from 1939) by 502 games. What started on 30 May 1982 and spanned 17 seasons had finally come to an end.

Why end at 2632? Ripken would later state that he decided to end the streak at season's end to avoid off-season controversy and he wanted to end it on his own terms. Those of us who grew up with Ripken as the face of the Orioles (myself included) will also argue that he wanted the streak to end where it began - Baltimore, in front of the Oriole faithful.

The end of "The Streak" also was the beginning of the end of what is known as "The Oriole Way." "The Oriole Way" was a belief that hard work, professionalism, and a strong understanding of fundamentals were the keys to success at the major league level. This is how Ripken - and all the players of during Ripken's tenure, including the 1983 World Series Championship team - played baseball. Truth be told, Ripken was not a flashy player; but he went out everyday, gave 110% and got the job done. Or as he put it on numerous occassions, "I just go out there and do my job like anyone else." Thus, Ripken’s name has become synonymous with strength, character, perseverance and integrity.

This isn't to say that today's Orioles are a bunch of assholes and fucktards (aside from owner Peter Angelos). Nor is it that they're rude slackers. I'm sure a majority are upstanding guys who work hard, are professionals and understand the fundamentals. They're not the Orioles I grew up with; however, baseball isn't the same as I grew up with either.

But to a kid growing up in Maryland, Ripken was a god. The hometown boy playing for the hometown team. He was the good guy that everyone liked. He was the player that was actually cheered at visiting ballparks (which I have witnessed at the Metrodome). Girls had a crush on him; boys wanted to be him. Kids wanted #8 for their jerseys, and some of us still do.

Yet amidst all the fanfare "The Oriole Way" was, either by design or fluke, was somehow ingrained into us Maryland kids on some level. That in and of itself is not a bad thing at all.

Yeah, 2632 is an amazing feat that will likely never be surpassed. But #8 will live on in our hearts for not only how he played the game, but who he was as person.

600

I am not (and likely never will be) a Brewers fan despite living in Milwaukee for my adult life. This largely due to my being a Cubs fan, plus a slight grudge still held from a one game Orioles/Brewers playoff in 1982.

However, as a life-long baseball fan, congratulations go out to Trevor Hoffman (now of the Brewers) for amassing his 600th save.

Granted, Mario Rivera of the NY Yankees is now at 555 saves. Bar any major injury or catastrophe, he will likely surpass Hoffman as the all-time saves leader before his career is over. But I digress...

This day, and more importantly, this moment belongs to Hoffman.

Hoffman, the all-time saves leader, is the first pitcher in history to compile 600 saves; an impressive feat capping off 17 impressive years as a closer. Plus, with #600, he further solidifies his spot in MLB history - not to mention further securing his ticket to Cooperstown.

And for this week in baseball history, "Hells Bells" never sounded so sweet.

on being girly...

I was having a phone conversation with a good friend the other day. Amongst the topics of relationships and dating and friendships, she said one thing I never thought anyone would say about me:

"Bec, you are a girly girl."

Really? Me? Girly girl?

Hmmmm...I don't know. Would a "girly girl"....

• pick horror movies over a romantic comedies?
• prefer to go a baseball game over a bridal shower?
• watch Spike TV over Lifetime TV?
• win NCAA basketball tourney pools?
• be knowledgeable enough about cars not to get screwed at the mechanics?
• know more about sports stats than the latest haute courture?
• choose a beer in a bar over a cosmo in a club?
• curse like a sailor and be able to make a Marine blush?

Well, you get the point. My preferences/interests don't exactly fall into the realm of "girly girl". Then I was reminded of some inklings that would indeed have me fall in this category...

• I dye my hair once I see a trace of that "natural lighting process" (current color: dark cherry) and in general am a bit obsessed about my hair.
• Overall, I care about how I look (including shaping those Colin Ferrel brows).
• I watch interior decorating shows (not mentioned, but it fits).
• Our topics of conversation during said phone call.
• I wear a lot of twirly, girly skirts.

Ok, so maybe...just maybe...I'm a bit of a (gasp) girly girl. Who would have thunk it?

All it really means is that I'll swear at a my bad shuffleboard throw whilst drinking a Guinness in a local watering hole, but I'll be wearing a girly, twirly skirt and look cute whilst doing it.

the last k-rant. really.

Oh, I'm sorry I only exist to you when I need something...

That pretty much sums up my relationship with the K-Family since April 2009.

And before I go on, I promise this will be my last musings about this situation. Really.

On Saturday, I attended the annual K-Family Brewers Game. Seeing it had been a full year (last years KFBG) since I went to a K-Family event, I wasn't sure what to expect. However, my experience was, well, interesting....

I wasn't expecting bells & whistles or the red carpet treatment. However, I didn't even get one "hello" hug. Now I'm not big on hugging each and every time you say hello/good-bye to someone (unless it's my parents or other folks I don't see often), but the K-Family is a "give-a-lot-of-hugs" type of group so I'll just go along with it. And it's somewhat expected. That set the stage for the evening...

I felt out of place and generally not welcomed - with exceptions, of course. Granted, there were a plethora of Circle K'ers I didn't know, but being about of the loop, that wasn't surprising...but those aren't the people I'm referring to. I reference the people I knew, those I served alongside with, those who I thought would support me in at least some regard. There were some obviously forced greetings, laced with the "why the hell are you here?" tone. Some people, again whom I worked and served with, who ignored me completely...including one rather high-ranking Kiwanian. Keep in mind, these are the same people who wouldn't hesitate to talk to me when I was administrator. I guess in their minds, I serve no purpose to them anymore and therefore, anything beyond a simple "hello" (if that) is just too much effort.

The only folks who appeared to be welcoming were a recent past CK governor, a Kiwanian from Madison (we had a every nice convo in the concession line) and anyone affiliated with Marquette CKI. MU CKI still rocks. Just know that your friendliness was much appreciated. That being said, I'm glad i sat next to a CKI'er scoring the game (and was actually able to help...Granddad taught me well) and I brought a guest - otherwise it likely would have been a very lonely and uncomfortable evening.

Yes, I get that the way I fell/got forced out of the loop was less than ideal. One would think that coming to an event shows a bit of effort (and a bit of pride swallowing) to possibly become involved again. Then again, I'll give someone the benefit of the once. Maybe it's a mistake to ask for that in return. Yes, I get that I "broke the rules" and thus, there should be consequences. However, I think my so-called punishment is a bit extreme for the crime. Yes, I get that communication is a two-way street. I can "small talk"; I'm fairly adept at it. In fact, I was chatting with someone in our group and I still have no idea who he is. However, it only works if the other person actually has even a minute interest (or in non-pc terms "gives a fuck") in participating.

This event mirrors my post-administrator encounters with the K-Family, again with exceptions. Those exceptions? The administrators & alum I hung out with at CKI events. I miss those guys dearly, and fortunately I've stayed in touch with a majority of them. Plus, these are the only folks who appear to have a genuine interest in me staying involved with the K-Family. Hell, one even extended the invitation to join his club (even though it's a Georgia-based eClub). Sadly, that seems to be the only sincere and personalized invite I've received.

Overall, my recent experiences with the K-Family have been less than stellar. OK, maybe a baseball game isn't the best benchmark to determine my future involvement with the organization. But whether it was by design or otherwise, for the most part I felt like an outcast and unwelcomed. And it certainly didn't get me motivated to rejoin Kiwanis.

This from an organization to which I dedicated nearly two decades of service. Apparently, that doesn't mean much anymore.

Maybe that's why I never got that good-bye hug either...