hope springs eternal

Easter was never really a big holiday in my family, In fact, last year was the first time I was home for Easter since my senior year in high school. 

Easter is a a time for hope and renewal, which usually coincides with the physical onset of spring. 

Easter was also the last holiday I saw Mom happy and healthy. Last year, I (as well as my family) really did have reasons for hope and celebration of life. Hope in that her tests all came back negative and the cancer had not spread. Mom looked  - and more importantly - felt healthy and her attitude was positive as ever. She was happy and was still able to live life to the fullest (with a couple rest stops along the way). We celebrated her health and happiness. It was a time of renewal as we all thought she had turned a corner and was going to continue the good fight. While her spirit was strong enough to do so, her body had been ravaged by the fight. And you know the how the story ends.  I am extremely thankful I made the trip home last Easter, as I got to see Mom as Mom one last time. 

However, Mom has never left us. Her spirit lives on, and I especially feel it during spring. Mom loved flowers and the color yellow. Daffodils are among the first flowers to bloom, signalling the onset of spring. It takes me back to Easter as a kid - daffodils in bloom along the front walk, wearing a frilly dress I did not pick out, and hunting for Easter eggs. It was a simpler, carefree time.

On Saturday I was at the store and I noticed a bunch of daffodils in the floral department. I'm not one to buy myself flowers, but I was drawn to them. And really, there was no way I couldn't get them.

Those daffodils now sit in a mason jar on my coffee table. And while nothing can bring Mom back, I can always bring a little reminder of her spirit home.