online dating is weird. and annoying.

I have begun to embark on a strange journey....the journey known as online dating.  And let me tell you, I haven't even been on an actual date and I'm already annoyed.

But first, let me talk about the dating sites themselves.  Despite being in the marketing field, I am absolutely horrible at marketing myself (but dammit, I can market the hell out of just about anything else) - thus, writing a profile is somewhat daunting.  Mine consists mostly of one-liners and smart ass comments, and if someone likes that, great.  If not, then we obviously wouldn't get along really well.  That being said, I do actually get people interested in messaging/getting to know me.  And then I look at their profile...

You'd think people would have someone review their profile or use spell check or something.  I swear, half the profiles I've viewed have some of the most horrific grammar and spelling I've seen in my lifetime.   It literally makes me cringes.  I could blame being in marketing (again) where you must proof everything before it leaves the office, but really?  There is a difference between "you're" and "your" - as well as "there", "their" and "they're".  When you write a sentence, don't omit words.  Use the correct tense.  Yes, I may sound like the grammar police but to me, that reflects on your intelligence (or lack thereof).  This is not to say you need to have an advanced degree - or even a degree - but please show some sign of a functioning brain.

The other thing that baffles me is that I tend to attract people that enjoy hunting.  It seems that if I'm a woman who enjoys sports and hiking, it must follow that I would enjoy hunting.  That's fine and good, but I actually state I'm anti-hunting (just goes to show how much folks actually read the profile). WTF?  I know how to shoot a gun and will take target practice.  I like communing with nature.  I fail to see the point of shooting a deer, elk, duck, goose, grouse, etc. - especially since I don't eat said animals (and regardless, I would still not be a fan of killing an animal with a gun).  Thus, I will not date someone who hunts...I just can't.  Fishing is ok as I like boating, but don't expect me to clean the fish or anything like that. 

Then there are a few that aren't so scary, and thus, I feel safe/comfortable enough to give them my phone number so we can text and/or talk - plus that is way easier than going through the dating site all the time.  While some of these "select few" have proofread their profile, their lack of attention to the English language whilst texting drives me batty.  I despise it when people don't spell out "are" and "you", among other words (so yes, many titles of Prince songs annoy me).  Admittedly, I get annoyed when even my brother messages me "R u busy?" Yes, it's a pet peeve.  Grammar aside, it has been interesting.  I also tend to attract people from Racine, Wisconsin (which is another sordid tale entirely) and I've been texting a few from that area.  Thankfully, none of them went to Horlick High - I know WAY too many people from that school despite not be a native Wisconsinite.  

So I've been texting this guy from Racine I'll call "G".  It starts off fine and good, until he sent me the following text on 15 February "I called you last night but you weren't around.  Why not?"  To be fair, he left a message that Monday. Mondays are usually my "detox" night and I don't talk to anyone much, plus I think I was still recovering from an epic Madison weekend.  Not to good have a first convo with someone when you're half-zombie.  Had I been home on Tuesday (VD), I likely wouldn't have picked up as a first convo on VD is too weird.  I still have been texting G (even though the spelling and spacing is horrific in these texts), but it's become relatively apparent that he doesn't have much of a life - and I feel it's important for someone to have a life and have friends.   Based upon texts, I believe G is free every Friday and Saturday; and this concerns me (if you knew my ex-hole, you'd understand).  I am sort of a social butterfly (apparently) and discovered my first free Saturday is 7 April. I say this to verify (and maybe convince myself) that I'm not being a bitch, I really am busy.  Thus, I'm not sure how this one is going to pan out.  I'll continue texting him and see how it goes...

I've actually talked to a person I met online (novel concept, I know) - I'll call him "M".  I'm not making any predictions after one convo, but he appears more promising than G for a few reasons:  

1 - He admittedly has friends that he hangs out with, which is why it took a couple times to catch each other at home 

2 -  He has a good working knowledge of the English language (I know this shouldn't be a big deal, but it is)

3 - He likes hanging out in Bay View and on the East Side

4 - He asked about hashing (a drinking club with a running problem) and thinks it sounds fun

Again, we shall see how things pan out...

I really am trying to keep a positive attitude about dating (really, I am trying...) While it would be nice to meet some new people, part of me is just happy hanging out with my friends and heading out on some sort of crazy new adventure.  

Then again if my VD status of "where is that stupid little fat baby? he may have an arrow, but I have a shotgun" is any indication of where I'm at in the dating realm, it could be a while...

six months in...

I always thought it was cool that my 1/2 birthday fell on Groundhog Day.  This year, Punxsutawney Phil said there would be six more weeks of winter, while Jimmy in Sun Prairie (WI) said it would be an early spring. I'm going with Jimmy because I like his prediction better.  

Since it IS my 1/2 birthday, it's also that time to revisit the good 'ol birthday wishes...and see if any of them actually came true. 

 

2011 Birthday Wishes (original):

• procure a MacBook - yes, I asked for one for Christmas.  no, I did not get one. tax money is going to other crap. ugh. 
• amp up physical activity - a friend and I have talked about going to yoga classes - and we downloaded the schedule...now we just need to actually go.  I'm still considering purchasing a bike (Rob would be so proud). and I've signed up for a couple fun runs for charity already.  perhaps I will be ready for the Dirty Girl Mud Run in August?  
• try to eat better - it's a good theory, if only I could really put it into practice.  the holidays killed me, but I'm hoping to get back on track.
• attempt to be culinary - ha ha ha ha.  I still define cooking as "empty contents of package into bowl, add water and microwave for five minutes". but pinning recipes to pinterest counts right?
• embrace my curls - my hair is still short.  as long as it's in this style, curls will not be embraced.  however, if I grow it out for summer, this can be revisited.
• beat my brother in "Words with Friends" - 13 August bitches!  sad part is I haven't won since...but we haven't really played either.  this is to my advantage, really.
• travel somewhere besides DC & Chicago - Madison once (but it's still in Wisco).  however, I'm going to St. Louis in March...yippee!!!  and maybe NOLA in June.
• see Wisco Gov. Scott Walker get recalled - signatures have been collected - over one million - so I guess that makes me one in a million :).  currently they're being analyzed and then we can oust the douchebag out of office (not that I have an opinion about it...)
• increase social media knowledge - pinterest and instagram ARE social media tools.  seriously, I've continue to read up on trends and increase my employers presence on the interwebs.  go me.
• engage in artistic endeavors - I did not tile my "east side special" coffee table...but I did this instead. plus, I have a few cool ideas for those wine bottles I now have, and the blank wall by the tv, and....
• continue to promote rjl creative -  still promoting.  still getting little jobs here and there.  I'd have more time for this if I wasn't actively looking for another full-time job in the process.
• become involved with APBT & AmStaff dog rescue/advocacy - I know when events are (3rd Annual Bully Bash is 30 March) . must.go.to.an.event.
• that my mom wins her battle with pancreatic cancer - mom is on an aggressive chemo schedule now :(  however, she remains in good spirits and is resilient as ever (amazingly).