being thankful

A few of my friends have taken on the experiment of writing "30 Days of Being Thankful". Seeing that Thanksgiving is in a few days, I figured I could pseudo bandwagon jump and reflect upon what I'm thankful for (in no particular order)...

my immediate family.

They may be weird. They may be quirky. They put the "fun" in dysfunctional. But in the end, I love them all and wouldn't have it any other way. Individually:

Thanks to Mom & Dad for raising me and allowing me to think for myself and formulate my own opinions & views (even if they are different from theirs).

Thanks to Dad for bestowing me with the computer gene and for my (albeit sometimes off-color) sense of humor, which includes the ability to laugh at myself.

Thanks to Mom for supporting me in my creative endeavors and being a damn good sounding board when needed.

Thanks to Chris (my brother) for being the organized, goal-driven child so I could be me. And providing grandchildren. Seriously, thanks for doing the said "dirty work" as of late.

Thanks to Kelly for putting up with Chris (as well as the rest of the family). I don't know how you do it.

Thanks for Gavin and Liam for being the most freakin' adorable nephews ever. Whatever you choose to do, you'll take the world by storm.

my friends.

I really don't know what I'd do without them. Through good times and bad times, we've shared laughter and tears. We've leaned on each other (in both alcohol and non-alcohol induced states), received/given advice (solicited or otherwise), plotted revenge (legally), dealt with putzes and schmucks, roadtripped far and wide, tripped the Milwaukee club fantastic, visited watering holes, attempted - and then successfully played volleyball...and the list goes on. Sometimes thank you just doesn't seem like it's enough.

my health.

I realize that this sounds strange coming from someone who single-handedly has funded the college education of children of orthopedic surgeons and physical therapists for years. But outside the sports injuries, I am in good health (premier status if you ask my life insurance company), heal quickly from injuries/illness and completely missed the allergy gene that has plagued my immediate family. Plus, any aliments/oddities I may have can be fixed without any major repercussions. However, I should probably consider buying stock in ibuprofen.

my education.

Sure, I bitch about Marquette - even more so as of late. However, my theory-based MU education has allowed me to apply what I've learned to anything else I decide to do. Case in point - a BA in Sociology/Social Welfare usually does not lead to Marketing & Graphics. Surprisingly, that liberal arts knowledge can - and has been - applied in my current field. I don't agree with their views on numerous issues, but what I took away from my four years there are invaluable.

my like of technology.

I'm not one to be afraid of new gadgets, or press buttons on things. Let's face it, you really need technology to survive in our world today. The advent of cell phones and social media has allowed me to keep in better touch with my friends and immediate family. And since I jumped in on the beginning of the social media craze, it's helped me be a major asset at my company. Unfortunately, my like of the stuff also means I am my mom's personal tech support.

my involvement with the k-family.

Minus the last year, the Kiwanis family played a major role in my college and young adult days. It afforded me to meet folks from all across Wisco and the UP, as well as across the country. Some of those folks still remain good friends. It also offered service and leadership opportunities - in fact, Marquette CKI was the first elected leadership position I ever held. Honestly, I probably am the person I am today in part due to my k-family experiences. And after a hiatus, it feels good to be back.

So this Thanksgiving as you gather with family/friends whilst stuffing your face with all the traditional cuisine and watching football (go Lions and whoever's playing the Cowboys), take a moment to give thanks.

it's only money...but still...

As a collective, my parents treated myself and my brother equally. However, since my brother now has a family, this "equality" has changed....in the cash flow department.

Now, I realize for the remainder of this blog I likely will come across as a self-centered little bitch. And that's ok - everyone should be allowed to do it once in a while.

I guess it somewhat started prior to the birth of my adorable nephews. My brother went to vet school and loans only covered so much. Thus, my parents covered the balance of the tuition/room/board - which I'll estimate at $50,000. I'd like to point out that when I took graduate classes, the only person paying for it was me. Sure, I realize my brother has college loans to pay; but he also makes a six-figure salary. It's not about payback, really. However, I figured part of said "payback" were the trips to Europe (Baltic States, Greece and Spain) with my mom over the past few years. For ease of calculation, let's say the trips are $5000 each ($15,000) total. So now there's a $25,000 tip in the scales.

With the addition of the nephews, those scales are tipping further. I don't even want to know what my mom spends on birthday and Christmas gifts. Now, children should NEVER be screwed out of gifts on these occassions (which is why I buy Christmas gift for the kids and the kids buy my gift). Yet I'm willing to bet that the collective costs of the gifts are worth at least one round-trip plane ticket from MKE to any area DC airport, possibly two trips. At Christmas , if you combine the actual cost of the ticket and dog-sitting for Caye, that cost is about $350. Who pays for my ticket and dogsitter? Me.

And yes, there's more. My mom does babysit for the nephews (and sometimes the dog) from time to time. In October, she dogsat for 10 days. The running rate for a pro to do it $200 minimum (and that was the cost of my plane ticket for this trip, I might add). So if you add up the pro bono babysitting, I'm sure that cost probably equals the cost of another plane ticket, maybe two.

Don't get me wrong, I realize that having kids is expensive. I also know the reality: my brother alone makes at least twice as much as I do.

I really don't ask for much. Maybe a MacBook and/or flat screen TV (retail for what I want: $1500). That, or payment for my varicose vein procedure next year (at a nice $3000 - the amount that insurance won't cover). Even if you throw that on the tipping scale, it's still at about $20,000.

If you're looking at the "equality" angle, I shouldn't have to pay for any of my trips home. Period.

citizens actually decide election outcomes

I swear I know some crazy, whacked-out conservatives (thank you Marquette University for introducing me to these folks...please note the sarcasm.)

This status message greeted me on my facebook newsfeed last night (although I didn't wholly get my thoughts together until now): (insert God-fearing conservative here) would like you to support Scott Walker, Rebecca Kleefisch and Ron Johnson when you vote but knows that ultimately God elects government leaders. This is why we try not to speak ill of our elected leaders even if we don't agree with their decisions, especially in front of our children. To God be the glory.

OK, I really don't have a problem with someone promoting/advertising for whom to cast your ballot, even if there is no fucking way I am voting for those candidates. I would like everyone to support Tom Barrett, Tom Nelson and Russ Feingold. Those are my political views and whom I feel ultimately are the best choices for Wisconsin. And yes, on some level, I think everyone should vote for the candidates I do. Sadly I likely will be in the minority thus will be drowning my sorrows with - ironically - red wine. Point being, in the USA we are able to vote - mostly without being ostracized or brutalized - for the our candidates of choosing.

My issue is the statement that "ultimately God elects government leaders". Correct me if I'm wrong, I still wholeheartedly believe that the citizens going to the polls and actually casting ballots will elect the next government leaders. Believing this statement would mean this election is already over whether or not one votes...so why bother? It also implies that we have no free will in the voting process. Isn't voting a symbol of freedom and living in the free world? I thought so. We, as citizens, are ultimately responsible for the outcome of these elections and the choices we make in general. Period. Anything otherwise would be preposterous.

I know I have supporters with my views and opinions on this. However, I did not expect one to respond to the comment (and I have no idea who this person is, but I kind of like them): I will teach my children that we're ultimately responsible for the choices we make, and the people we elect. Not to pass the buck to "God" when things go badly. But thanks for the advice.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. There people who are intelligent and hold themselves accountable out there.

(Note: There was a counter-response to the effect we rely on God for everything and not our government; and he's passing on a burden to his children. Somehow, I fail to see how teaching your child to hold him/herself accountable for actions/choices as passing a burden or a bad idea. Teaching children to rely on something/someone other than themselves seems to be a much worse idea.)

As for the second half of the statement, it is probably good practice not to speak ill of people in front of children in general - elected official or not. However, there are no children reading this so here it goes. I thought "W" was a moron and royally fucked this country for eight years. There is no way Obama could clean up his mess in 1.5 years, let alone four. But whether or not I personally voted for "W" or agreed with his policies (which I didn't), he was still the president of the USA and thus commands some (albeit a tiny, tiny iota) of respect. However, this does not mean I will stop badmouthing "W" or the projected Wisconsin governor anytime soon.

Bottom line: It is your privilege to vote as we live in a free country. Exercise that privilege. Make your voice heard. And when you do, vote Democrat. OK, really...go vote for whom you feel is the best candidate.

three month check-up

Well, it's been three months since my birthday and thus, time to revisit my progress on my birthday wishes 2010. See kids, this is what happens when you publicize things...it holds you accountable.

So without further adieu, here is the update:

• promote/develop my freelance design "business" (using that term loosely) - I completely revamped Jeanette Hurt's website and the WIUM KDF website, as well as created a logo for a cancer awareness fundraiser (note the shameless plugs). Still a work in progress, but getting closer.
• a MacBook - I look at the website frequently, but really can't afford to drop the $999. If anyone would like to purchase one for me, it would be much appreciated.
• take more photographs (those of the artsy, landscape variety) - I pretty much have my camera with me almost all the time, so I actually have been doing it. Whether it good photography, that's questionable but you can judge for yourself here.
• learn to play bass - I don't think I've even been close to a bass in the past three months.
• catch up with friends I haven't seen much in the past year - Thanks to the modern miracles of e-mail and facebook, this is being accomplished. Plus, I've actually seen said friends in persons at least once.
• keep in touch with friends I actually see - I've been good at this one.
• visit friends in faraway places - specifically those in Florida, Arizona and Connecticut - who I keep promising I'll visit - The ball is rolling to visit Arizona - just need to confirm that the date works for all parties involved. No headway on Florida or Connecticut, but I may be going to Philly for the Cubs/Phils series in June (note: I have friends in Philly & South Jersey).
• teleportation to see said friends and my nephews more often - I did see the nephews in October, but it was via good, old-fashioned airplane. I may lack the scientific know-how for this teleportation thing.
• travel internationally without my mom - Not yet.
• the adapter thingie that allows you to use your iPod in the car - Thanks to a great bf, I got one for my birthday!
• a Wii Fit - I'm thinking I'd rather have an LCD TV.
• lose that last 20 lbs - Since I don't own a scale, I probably will never know. But I've been told it looks like I lost weight. Maybe if I start doing that boot camp regularly that nearly killed me on Saturday morning...
• manage my finances more effectively - I haven't touched my growth savings account since July. For me, this is major progress.
• actually watch some shows I've DVRed - Ha ha ha...I had to delete some to make room for shows I may or may not get around to watching.
• become more involved with the K-Family again - Despite the bball incident, I turned in my membership form today.
• world peace (sorry I had to) - I doubt it will happen in my lifetime.
• instead of complaining about something, do something to change it - Ok, I still complain...but then I work on changing it.
• give up diet Dew - Admittedly, I only had this one in my mind as I thought it would be near impossible. However, I have not had one since 17 August. Yay me!

So there you have it...your long-awaited update. If you check back in three months, I may even have a six month update.

the skinny

A strange phenomenon has happened in my life in the past month...people have referred to me as "skinny". If you feel so inclined to reference my being benny post, you might have picked up that I find this extremely weird.

The first inkling appeared in mid-August at a volleyball game at Tracks. Two team members said it looked like I had lost weight. I just brushed it off, rationalizing that it was summer and since I'm outside more I was tan, thus appearing thinner. Whatever.

Enter the month of October. I went home to Maryland for my cousin's wedding - or as I like to call it, an excuse to see my nephews (oh, and those people who take care of them) - early in the month. I'm standing in my brother's kitchen - probably drinking a beer - and out of nowhere he asks, "Hey Bec, have your lost weight?" I respond with a "deer in headlights" look, as I don't think my brother has ever asked that question (well, to me anyway). Truth be told, I couldn't really answer the question as I firmly believe "scale" is a dirty five-letter word and borderline satanic. But I did think he needed his eyeglasses checked.

On this excursion home, of course I had to go into DC, visit the Washington Monument and take photos (even if it looks the same EVERY time). Upon my return to Milwaukee I posted these and other photos on facebook, per usual. I go volleyball the following Monday, and one of my teammates who viewed the photos commented "I like the photos...and you look so skinny." Huh? The conversation then gravitated to how my teammates usually see me in shorts (which I am not attractive in. At all.), t-shirt and XL sweatshirt. Thus, when I wear "real" clothes, you can actually tell I have a waist. This prompted me to slam my beer. Really? We're in a bar. Can't we talk about football or the douchy vball team we were about to play?

Last week I was at a "Swap Party" (aka "One persons trash is another person's treasure" - everyone brings stuff we want to get rid of and we kind of go through it to see if we want anything. The "leftovers" are donated) and the host told me I was getting smaller - ironically I was stuffing my face with cheese and beer at the time. So I start to look through the clothes and find a few tops. I try them on, determine I want them, etc. Then I look at the size. Medium. I can actually fit into a medium. And today, my dress pants that used to barely fit are actually loose. Shocking I know.

Maybe it's the vball, 5x/week PT exercises and daily 3 mile walks with the pup; because I know I don't eat any better (exhibited by the mozz sticks, nachos and beer I considered dinner last night). And maybe this giving up the soda (sans diet white soda) was a good idea. Whatever. It's weird.

Honestly, I still think y'all are on crack. However, I'll accept the compliments and reply with a heartfelt "thank you".

i question it

As of late, I've noticed a lot of my friends have become religious. I'm not talking the "I go to church on Sunday" religious; I'm talking "Thank you God for blessing us, providing us, etc."

On some level, I guess I should expect it. After all I went to a Catholic, Jesuit university - and a majority of students went to Catholic grade school & high school. Overall, I don't have a problem with those who have a strong faith in religion. It's an individuals choice as to what he/she believes (presumably). I don't necessarily agree with their beliefs - as a recovering Catholic with major questions with the current state and action of the church - but if it works for them, great.

But why the sudden religious revolution? Your guess is as good as mine.

I knew a lot of these people in my college days and early 20s, at Marquette and otherwise. Judging from the activities partaken in, I highly doubt we were thanking God for blessing us. In fact, "God" was likely only spoken in terms of "God dammit", "oh God, yes", etc. And I'm sure some activities were not condoned (by a higher power or the authorities) in any way.

Now one of these friends is pledging money to K-LOVE (a "positive, encouraging" Christian music/ministry station) saying "I've donated have you?" Hmmmm, no. I don't intend to either. Another is huge fan of Christian music. I think he's a fan of every worship/praise group out there (as evidenced by his status messages). Some of these said sites states "It's more than worship, it's a way of life." So chanting in unison with others is a way of life? As I recall, Waco was similar...and we know what happened there. This same friend (among others) have an inordinate amount of Bible verses under their "Favorite Quotes". Newsflash: Just because something is written down does not make it true. Yet another states "Putting my faith in Jesus Christ has changed my life. I desire to give God glory in everything I do out of love and thanks to Him for his sacrifice for me." Really? This first implies that one must have a belief in God to have meaning in life. However, I am sure a number of atheists found meaning in life without said belief. Second, I put faith in myself because if something is going to be accomplished/changed in my life, it should my doing and not an outside entity. It is somewhat unsettling that someone would put faith in something over putting faith in oneself.

One could argue that once children are involved, things change as all of these friends have children. I can see that, and know that indeed happens. Case in point - my brother. He (and his family) started to go to church because of the kids; prior to that we were both "Santa Babies" (as my mom lovingly references). Learning about religion isn't a bad thing. I think children need to learn about religion - at least the historical perspective - due to societal references. I myself am interested/intrigued as to how religion, society and culture co-exist in today's world. But suddenly devoting your life, completely altering your perspective, putting everything out of your hands and essentially removing accountability? I question that.

I'm not a hedon. I'm not an atheist either. There is nothing wrong with believing in God or practicing religion. I just don't think that one's religious beliefs proclaimed to the masses (no pun intended), nor should it be the reason for life's trials and tribulations.

There's a saying that goes "if it's to be, it's up to me". Maybe we should start living by that creed instead.

feels like home

Despite living in Wisconsin the better part of my adult life, I will always consider Maryland home. Yet I never plan to reside there (or on the east coast for that matter) again. In reality, I'm more suited for life in a Midwestern or Pacific northwest city.

But in honor of my "triumphant" return to my old stomping grounds this week, I give you the reasons you'll know I'm a Marylander for life:

• Everything tastes better with Old Bay.
• The only real crab cake is a Maryland crab cake - accept no imitations.
• Anything below 32 degrees is still considered cold.
• A 2" dusting of snow should still merit a 2-hour delay at minimum. Anything above 6" merits a snow day.
• It's pronounced "Merlind"; "Mareland" is acceptable. If you pronounce is "Mary land" I will punch you.
• Cal Ripken Jr. is revered as a god among men; he is our hometown hero and #8 forever in our hearts.
• “Fear the Turtle” is more than a saying; it's a way of life during tourney time.
• We shout "O" at the verse "Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wave..." during the National Anthem (even at inappropriate times/events).
• "Coke" refers to any carbonated beverage. For example, "What kind of coke do you have?"
• Coolest. State. Flag. Ever.
• “Beer and football..that’s what Maryland does." (thank you, Wedding Crashers)
• And finally...the distinct Maryland "o". And no, I don’t say my “o’s” funny.