fear this

As of late, I have been "reminded" of some of my peculiar persuasions - or irrational fears - if you will.

What exactly is an "irrational fear"? Well, it's a type of phobia (from the Greek, meaning "fear"), A phobia is a intense and persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, etc. where the main symptom is the excessive and/or unreasonable desire to avoid the things/situations feared. Usually, it is a learned response brought on by an experience. However, the fear is usually transmitted to other situations while the original experience is repressed or forgotten.

Or in layrpersons terms - the crazy, I’ve-got-a-better-chance-of-winning-the-lottery than being (fill in the blank), kind of fears.

We all have them. Some people are afraid of driving on bridges, others fear historical figures (really, there are people afraid of Abraham Lincoln). And yes, I have some irrational fears of my own.

One of these such fears is commonplace in our society: the drive-thru. I do not like driving through the drive-thru. In fact I will try to avoid doing so at all costs. When I go to the bank, I park the car and walk into the bank to make a deposit, get quarters, etc. I rationalize by saying I want to say "hi" to the people at the bank - who happen to be very nice. And sometimes they have cookies. If I get a "fast food" meal, I go into the establishment to order. Hmmm, maybe that's why I like Subway so much (aside from it being delish) - no drive-thru. In fact I will have someone else drive my vehicle through the damn thing. Now you ask if the fear interferes with your life could it be an anxiety disorder? Perhaps, although I've never heard of a "drive-thru phobia". But is it really wrong to want to talk to folks personally rather than a sliding glass window? However, the weird part is that I am perfectly fine if I am a passenger and not driving the vehicle.

But Bec, the drive-thru? Yes, really. Maybe it's because when I was learning to drive many of the roads had cement barriers and each time I got too close, my dad would comment (read: yell). Or it could be that I have visions of hitting the accelerator instead of the brake - which I did on my learner's permit, causing an accident - and find myself on the news because I literally "drove-through" the fast food establishment. Realistically, the chances of the latter happening are slim...yet there is that possibility.

The other one may fall into that Abe Lincoln category: clawfooted tubs. At least I know how this fear manifested.

I was seven and my family was visiting relatives in North Dakota in the dead of winter...and it was f*in cold. We stayed in a hotel with a clawfooted tub, which I actually bathed in. Then I went to bed and had this dream: I was taking a bath and the bathtub decided to use its feet to walk outside. In the middle of the night. With snow and -40 wind chills. And it left me in the middle of an intersection. Using infinite seven-year-old wisdom, I determined that if it could happen in a dream it could actually happen. Needless to say, I never got into the hotel tub - or any other clawfooted tub - since.

Well, that's a bit nutty, right? I'll even admit that. It's not like I have an issue with other tubs or I'm afraid of water (especially if I swam competitively for ten years and have done the swimming portion of triathalons). So two years ago, at Camp Wawbeek, I tried to overcome this fear. The shower I usually used was being fixed in the house where Kiwanians stayed; the only other in-house option was a clawfooted tub. After a ten-minute stare down, the damn tub won. I still couldn't do it. I walked across the way to the dorms (where the college kids were) and showered there. Apparently I'm still not over my issue of clawfooted tubs. I guess would also be a prime example of fear interfering with life. Yet I ask, how often will I really encounter a clawfooted tub?

Personally, I think by acknowledging the the irrationality (but not necessarily rationalizing it) makes it less abnormal, or I'll say it, crazy.

In the meantime, please keep me away from drive-thrus and clawfooted tubs - then everything will be just fine.