grinding gears 1.0

We'll call this a post about "what really grinds my gears" - because I most of the time I tend to write when someone or something aggravates me.  

A couple days ago, Starbucks posted this status message on Facebook:

We are proud to support Marriage Equality legislation in the Washington State Legislature. (read full article).  

This was awesome.  Granted, if I'm going out for coffee I'd much rather patronize Alterra or Stone Creek Coffee because they're local - but now I feel a bit better about going to a "big box coffee shop".  Hey, a girl needs a caramel frappucino every once in a while. Outside of my need for a java fix, it's nice to see a mega-corporation align with my views on an issue - especially one I've been involved with (some could say personally) for quite some time.  

One of my best friends from college came out to me seven months after we graduated.  My response was "That's nice, could you get me another beer."  A unique response?  Perhaps.  But the point was his that I didn't care if he was gay - he was still my friend.  That wasn't about to change.  And on that cold December day over a decade ago, my journey as a straight LGBT advocate began.  More than a handful of friends have come out to me since, probably because I won't judge and I accept people for who they are, not their sexual orientation.  Period.  And honestly, I feel every else should do the same (but we sure as hell know that isn't the case).

Back to this wonderful (and somewhat ballsy, seeing the issue at hand) post from Starbucks. I try to keep political banter to a minimum, so I simply "liked" the status.  Then I noticed a male friend posted this comment:

I am so glad I am no longer associated with this filthy corporation.

My initial response was "what the fuck?"   I fail to see why their stance on marriage equality is "filthy".  Seriously.  You can come at the religious angle all you want.  From what I choose to accept and translate from the collection of stories called the Bible, Jesus accepted EVERYONE - regardless of race, creed, religion, socio-economic status, etc. EVERYONE includes sexual orientation. Alienating and damning a whole facet of our population to hell is certainty not "Christian-like".  And I don't think Jesus would approve.

Religious views aside, It seems to me that legislation (and constitutional amendments) were supposed to grant citizens rights - not take them away.  With all the "exclusions" currently in our society, I seriously question the state humanity and our future.

To be in love with someone and be raising a family with someone and want to make that commitment and not be able to is ludicrous, just ludicrous. - Brad Pitt

keep your post to yourself

A recent Facebook post:

Can anyone tell me why it is so hard to pray, but easy to swear? Why gangs are growing and churches are shrinking? Why it is so hard to re-post a Christian status, but easy to post gossip? Why we can worship a celebrity, but not Jesus? Gonna ignore this? The Lord said, if you deny Me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my Father. Re-Post if you're not afraid of what your friends will think.

People are entitled to their own beliefs (even if I don't necessarily agree); and I am also entitled to mine.  However, when it comes to the topic of religion it is the skeptics, non-believers and those questioning their faith who are often ostracized by the religious right for their beliefs.  Yes, someone has every right to post and believe in the above - thanks to the First Amendment.  In turn, I have the same right to disagree with and refute the above, so I will.

Can anyone tell me why it is so hard to pray, but easy to swear? 

In my case, yes I can.  I don't pray.  To be honest, I never did.  All those times growing up when I was supposed to be praying in church (such as after communion), I was people watching; often making mental notes of hideous outfits and seeing if I knew anyone.  Years later, I do the exact same thing when I attend Christmas mass with my mom (which I now view as part of my Christmas gift to her).  

The whole concept of prayer somewhat astounds me.  How can someone ask for help, guidance or anything  to an entity that may or may not exist?  If you need or want something, shouldn't you do everything in YOUR power to achieve it?  On some level, I view praying as a version of "passing the buck".  What I mean by that is some people "leave it up to God" and make no real effort on their part to achieve the end goal, or any effort to improve themselves.  This is not to say that everyone who prays does this - I know plenty of people who do pray and are quite industrious and ambitious in their efforts. But to not take full responsibility for your choices and your life seems quite juvenile. 

As for the easy to swear part, I find swearing somewhat therapeutic at times (i.e. when I totally botch a set at volleyball).  Plus "fuck" is one of the most versatile words in the American English language.

 

Why it is so hard to re-post a Christian status, but easy to post gossip? 

This is easy to answer.  First, I have always viewed religion to be a private matter.  What you believe is fine and good, but for fuck's sake (note the versatility), I don't need to know about it.  And it seems those who are the most adamant about shouting their beliefs from the rooftops are the ones trying to compensate for something else - perhaps their "unChristian-like" behaviors.  That could be another blog entirely (and likely will be in the future).  In reality, I cannot tell you the religious belief (or lack of) of most my friends.  Honestly, I really don't care what your beliefs are - until you attempt to shove your beliefs down my throat.  Overall, my more religious friends have been good about not over-broadcasting their beliefs - although the posting of these status messages are pushing the line, in my opinion.

Second, if you're not Christian - and trust me not everyone is, despite what you may be led to believe - it's damn easy not to re-post (or post) a Christian status. And as a side note, why don't the Jewish feel compelled to post a Jewish status?

Third, I may enjoy gossip but I do not post it on Facebook or any other social media outlet. 

Why we can worship a celebrity, but not Jesus? 

The act of worship is to show reverence and adoration for a deity; or to treat (someone or something) with the reverence and adoration appropriate to a deity.  Essentially, putting them on a pedestal.  Yes, it is true that some people do worship celebrities, but that is not the norm (and on some level, these said people might need some professional help).  While I may admire some celebrities for their talent and/or using their clout to promote the greater good or causes I believe in, it's not worship.  Of course, this is presuming Jesus did indeed exist.  If not, how is worshiping an "idea" any worse than worshiping a celebrity?  At least the celebrity as a living, breathing human being that indeed exists.

The Lord said, if you deny Me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my Father.

Going out on a limb, I guessing this is stated in the Bible.  However, Christianity (as well as other religions) tend to pick and choose what scripture to follow.  For example, the Bible also states the punishment for adultery is the stoning the "guilty" party on his/her front porch.  I personally did not do it (as fun as it might have been), nor do I see it as a common punishment in this day and age.  

At a place of employment, you can't pick and choose what responsibilities you decide to fulfill; you need to perform ALL of them.  Shouldn't it be the same for a religion? 

Re-Post if you're not afraid of what your friends will think.

I am sure some will be angered or offended by this train of thought.  However, I'm not afraid of what my friends think...that's why I wrote this blog.

And as you can see, it was WAY to long to post in a status message or note.

expression of faith

Our faith should be expressed in working toward a better planet for our children and not the selfish, juvenile hope for a better afterlife for ourselves. I don't think anyone is going to Hell because it only exists in the minds of people who wish ill-will on others. 

- Greg Graffin, PhD, lead singer of Bad Religion

The above-referenced quote eloquently sums up how I feel about faith.  I have always maintained that I believe in the basic foundations of Christianity:  charity (read:  supporting and/or helping others in need - volunteering or otherwise), respect for others (read: acknowledging that others have a difference of opinion, be of a different creed, religion, race or orientation -  but it doesn't necessarily mean they're evil or damned for eternity) and  the "golden rule" (read: I hope I don't have to explain this).  However, I don't believe current evolution of Christianity (rather, I feel it's regressed a few centuries, nor to I support its doctrine and the organization it has become.  

Thus, I question my own religious (or lack of) beliefs on a fairly regular basis.  Even as a teenager, I questioned the purpose of going to church - which would explain why I went to the mall instead.  To use the cliche:  going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car. I  feel many  people use attending church to profess their faith and to validate that they are a good person.  It begs the question: why must one go to a service to profess one's faith?  Shouldn't one do something worthwhile for humanity rather than recite a creed in a church pew? (honestly, that seems somewhat cult-like to me).

A couple years ago, I posed the following, somewhat related scenario to my friend who is a professor of theology (for sake of argument, Jesus did exist):  

Let's say I have one hour per week to spare.  I can either go to church or volunteer in my community.  What would Jesus prefer me to do?

Her response:  Jesus would want you to volunteer. 

Mind you, this is not why I have been involved in a volunteer organization for nearly two decades.  Although I have told my parents more than once, "some people go to church, I go to Circle K/Kiwanis".   Dad has accepted this; Mom is waiting for me to attend church again. 

Now, I never got anything out of going to church (I think that's glaringly apparent).  However, volunteering is quite the opposite - helping those in need, fostering support for our fellow humans (and animals), working for the common/greater good and perhaps leaving the planet in better shape than when I got here.  

If you want to label that "faith", that's how I choose to express it.

Easter on the fb

Oh social media, what hath thee bestowed upon us now? 

This is the current "facebook challenge" going around:

During this couple of weeks before Easter, I am out to prove that my friends will repost, I hope I am right!!! Easter is not about bunnies and chocolate eggs. Let's lift up God's name and make a statement!! When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of You and Me. If you are not ashamed to call Jesus Christ your savior, copy and repost. I'm not ashamed.

I call myself spiritual.  Raised Catholic, but currently don't follow a specific religion and I honestly don't foresee that changing in the near future.  And if I do, I definitely won't be Catholicism.  In some capacity, religion does some for some people (i.e. sense of community, feeling of belonging, prescribing to a common belief) - I'm just not one of them.  However, I do realize that I have friends and family who prescribe to religion and it is a large part of their lives.  While I may not necessarily agree with their beliefs, it's their prerogative so long as they don't try to shove their beliefs down my throat.

That being said, I find this facebook challenge well, uncomfortable.  I always felt religion was a personal thing that was better kept private and not proclaimed from the rooftops - or interwebs.  That's what irks me about this whole "challenge".  Plus, if someone was to post that "Easter is about chocolate bunnies and chocolate eggs" I shudder to think about the wrath they would receive from "believers".  Because let's face it, in our society we question non-religious people in their beliefs as if they are deficient in some capacity but it's perfectly acceptable to have "Bible-thumpers" shouting scripture from every place imaginable (whilst picking and choosing what verses to adhere to and what not to).  That's wrong.  Everyone is entitled to his/her beliefs - and not shoving those beliefs down someone else's throat.  Period.

Besides, Easter is really about Peeps and Cadbury Creme Eggs.

against the MU grain

I was at brunch recently with some friends, and somehow we got on the topic of education - more specifically, attending college at Marquette.

I made the comment that had I graduated high school ten years later, I likely would not have gone to Marquette. Why? It's political and religious views, as well as belief and value system, have become increasingly conservative since I've attended, and thus been affiliated, with Marquette.

Granted, I don't expect Marquette to be left-wing liberal; it is a Catholic, Jesuit institution after all. For example:

You can't, and likely never will be able to, distribute condoms on campus. Remember the Catholic church's stances on premarital sex. And it still thinks one should only engage in sex for procreation. While I completely disagree with that (and would be a total hypocrite if I didn't) - it's the 21st century people are going to have sex at college. Period. They might as well be proactive and safe about it (considering the alternative). And why you think Planned Parenthood had a clinic 3 blocks from campus proper? Pure genius on their part.

The mandatory philosophy and theology credits. I was even quoted my senior yearbook stating this requirement should be done away with. Really. Yes, I know that these courses make up the foundation of a Jesuit, liberal arts education. In reality, I didn't mind the philosophy so much; if anything, it enhanced my critical thinking skills. Theology...well, I took the required intro course, Buddhism and Judaism. I was determined not to take another course that revolved around the Bible. As a result, I still know very little beyond the basics of the Bible - despite being raised Catholic. I did enjoy learning about different religions. However, today at Marquette they do not offer "outside" religion courses - all the theology courses are Bible-based.

Views on homosexuality. If you know me, you know my views on homosexuality are in direct conflict with the Catholic church and thus, Marquette. While it did recognize LGBTQ groups, they were not, and still are not, allowed to meet on campus. I guess this is better than nothing. And then in May there was the whole Jodi O'Brien fiasco. In brief: O'Brien is openly lesbian, a feminist, & professor and department chair at Seattle University (also a Jesuit institution). Her areas of study and research are in the areas of anthropology and sociology (specifically gender, sexuality and religion); including extensive research on lesbian sexuality and support for sex-sex marriage. Upon completion the interview process, she was offered the position of Dean of Arts & Sciences at Marquette. Now, one would think the selection committee would have done its due diligence and reviewed her academic work BEFORE offered her the position. If they had done so, O'Brien never likely would have been offered the position due to her views on same-sex marriage (which are in direct conflict with the "fine" Catholic church). I suspect the increasingly conservative board of directors and the Archdiocese of Milwaukee forced Marquette to rescind the offer.

Due to these developments, I often question Marquette and what they are teaching the current college generation. Academic freedom and acceptance of others should always remain intact as it ultimately makes all of well-rounded individuals. Yet apparently, Marquette believes "academic freedom" and "acceptance of others" only apply if it falls within its stringent belief and value systems.

When I was done essentially bashing my alma mater, one of my friends said, "But Marquette needs you. They need someone who doesn't think like the majority."

I thought about that statement. In a sense, she's right. I may be upset at and disagree with Marquette's stance on many issues. However, it proves not all associated with Marquette are right-wing nutcases.

And in the end, wouldn't it be ironic if I used what I learned at Marquette to question the institution itself?

citizens actually decide election outcomes

I swear I know some crazy, whacked-out conservatives (thank you Marquette University for introducing me to these folks...please note the sarcasm.)

This status message greeted me on my facebook newsfeed last night (although I didn't wholly get my thoughts together until now): (insert God-fearing conservative here) would like you to support Scott Walker, Rebecca Kleefisch and Ron Johnson when you vote but knows that ultimately God elects government leaders. This is why we try not to speak ill of our elected leaders even if we don't agree with their decisions, especially in front of our children. To God be the glory.

OK, I really don't have a problem with someone promoting/advertising for whom to cast your ballot, even if there is no fucking way I am voting for those candidates. I would like everyone to support Tom Barrett, Tom Nelson and Russ Feingold. Those are my political views and whom I feel ultimately are the best choices for Wisconsin. And yes, on some level, I think everyone should vote for the candidates I do. Sadly I likely will be in the minority thus will be drowning my sorrows with - ironically - red wine. Point being, in the USA we are able to vote - mostly without being ostracized or brutalized - for the our candidates of choosing.

My issue is the statement that "ultimately God elects government leaders". Correct me if I'm wrong, I still wholeheartedly believe that the citizens going to the polls and actually casting ballots will elect the next government leaders. Believing this statement would mean this election is already over whether or not one votes...so why bother? It also implies that we have no free will in the voting process. Isn't voting a symbol of freedom and living in the free world? I thought so. We, as citizens, are ultimately responsible for the outcome of these elections and the choices we make in general. Period. Anything otherwise would be preposterous.

I know I have supporters with my views and opinions on this. However, I did not expect one to respond to the comment (and I have no idea who this person is, but I kind of like them): I will teach my children that we're ultimately responsible for the choices we make, and the people we elect. Not to pass the buck to "God" when things go badly. But thanks for the advice.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. There people who are intelligent and hold themselves accountable out there.

(Note: There was a counter-response to the effect we rely on God for everything and not our government; and he's passing on a burden to his children. Somehow, I fail to see how teaching your child to hold him/herself accountable for actions/choices as passing a burden or a bad idea. Teaching children to rely on something/someone other than themselves seems to be a much worse idea.)

As for the second half of the statement, it is probably good practice not to speak ill of people in front of children in general - elected official or not. However, there are no children reading this so here it goes. I thought "W" was a moron and royally fucked this country for eight years. There is no way Obama could clean up his mess in 1.5 years, let alone four. But whether or not I personally voted for "W" or agreed with his policies (which I didn't), he was still the president of the USA and thus commands some (albeit a tiny, tiny iota) of respect. However, this does not mean I will stop badmouthing "W" or the projected Wisconsin governor anytime soon.

Bottom line: It is your privilege to vote as we live in a free country. Exercise that privilege. Make your voice heard. And when you do, vote Democrat. OK, really...go vote for whom you feel is the best candidate.

i question it

As of late, I've noticed a lot of my friends have become religious. I'm not talking the "I go to church on Sunday" religious; I'm talking "Thank you God for blessing us, providing us, etc."

On some level, I guess I should expect it. After all I went to a Catholic, Jesuit university - and a majority of students went to Catholic grade school & high school. Overall, I don't have a problem with those who have a strong faith in religion. It's an individuals choice as to what he/she believes (presumably). I don't necessarily agree with their beliefs - as a recovering Catholic with major questions with the current state and action of the church - but if it works for them, great.

But why the sudden religious revolution? Your guess is as good as mine.

I knew a lot of these people in my college days and early 20s, at Marquette and otherwise. Judging from the activities partaken in, I highly doubt we were thanking God for blessing us. In fact, "God" was likely only spoken in terms of "God dammit", "oh God, yes", etc. And I'm sure some activities were not condoned (by a higher power or the authorities) in any way.

Now one of these friends is pledging money to K-LOVE (a "positive, encouraging" Christian music/ministry station) saying "I've donated have you?" Hmmmm, no. I don't intend to either. Another is huge fan of Christian music. I think he's a fan of every worship/praise group out there (as evidenced by his status messages). Some of these said sites states "It's more than worship, it's a way of life." So chanting in unison with others is a way of life? As I recall, Waco was similar...and we know what happened there. This same friend (among others) have an inordinate amount of Bible verses under their "Favorite Quotes". Newsflash: Just because something is written down does not make it true. Yet another states "Putting my faith in Jesus Christ has changed my life. I desire to give God glory in everything I do out of love and thanks to Him for his sacrifice for me." Really? This first implies that one must have a belief in God to have meaning in life. However, I am sure a number of atheists found meaning in life without said belief. Second, I put faith in myself because if something is going to be accomplished/changed in my life, it should my doing and not an outside entity. It is somewhat unsettling that someone would put faith in something over putting faith in oneself.

One could argue that once children are involved, things change as all of these friends have children. I can see that, and know that indeed happens. Case in point - my brother. He (and his family) started to go to church because of the kids; prior to that we were both "Santa Babies" (as my mom lovingly references). Learning about religion isn't a bad thing. I think children need to learn about religion - at least the historical perspective - due to societal references. I myself am interested/intrigued as to how religion, society and culture co-exist in today's world. But suddenly devoting your life, completely altering your perspective, putting everything out of your hands and essentially removing accountability? I question that.

I'm not a hedon. I'm not an atheist either. There is nothing wrong with believing in God or practicing religion. I just don't think that one's religious beliefs proclaimed to the masses (no pun intended), nor should it be the reason for life's trials and tribulations.

There's a saying that goes "if it's to be, it's up to me". Maybe we should start living by that creed instead.

revelation: i'm an ass!

Due to the current political climate (especially this past week), each of our political persuasions are likely to be uncovered at some point. I don't really care what you align with; if it opens topics up for intelligent debate, even better. If we disagree on some issues, that's fine. Just don't try to ram your version of politics down my throat.

I will say I've had intelligent and insightful conversions with those on the other side of the fence (thank you Rob and Craig), but those are few and far between. While I don't openly divulge my political views (sans this week on the fb), I consider myself a liberal. Sorry Mom, I know you prefer me using just "Democrat", so for you I will be a Democrat liberal. (Note: Mom does not actually read this blog)

For some reason, that revelation seems to surprise people. And for the life of me, I'm not sure why. So, let's explore why their assumption is unfounded.

I went to Marquette University.
Marquette's defining statement states "Marquette is a Catholic, Jesuit university dedicated to serving God by serving our students and contributing to the advancement of knowledge." The mission reads, "Our Mission is the search for truth, the discovery and sharing of knowledge, the fostering of personal and professional excellence, the promotion of a life of faith, and the development of leadership expressed in service to others. All this we pursue for the greater glory of God and the common benefit of the human community."

Yeah, I can see that - if you look at it at face value. My guess is that I overlooked any preposition or phrase that explicitly mentioned God or religion. I'm also certain that my parents thought me going to a Jesuit university would strengthen my religious faith. Epic fail.

However, if you look deeper into Marquette's mission there are four core values: excellence, leadership, service and faith - all of which we (per Marquette) should strive for in our lives. I would think that any educational entity would strive to instill the values of excellence and leadership in its students, at least on some level. As for service, I believe that everyone should dedicate time to service. While this value was instilled through my dad's own volunteer efforts, my involvement with service organizations at Marquette fostered it. Faith is likely only prominent in religious institutions. While usually referenced as a religious term, faith can also elude to trust in yourself and/or others or to belief in something. To quote Dogma, "It doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith."

I think I just partially de-religioned part of Marquette's core values. Thank you for teaching me to think critcially!

I was raised Catholic.
So was JFK...and he remains the only Roman Catholic president this country has elected. He was also a Democrat, and likely could have been one of the greatest presidents ever had his life not been cut short. But I digress.

The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life conducted a poll on religion in America. Overall, their study confirmed that the more often people attend services, the more likely they are to be conservative. Of course this varies based upon specific religion and its general doctrine and theology. (ie. Mormons are conservatives, atheists are liberal). I used every excuse I could to get out of church, as I don't believe you need to go to services to "prove" your worthiness. I am liberal. My mom goes to church religiously (pun intended). She is a Democrat as of 2002.

In fact, 38% of Catholics consider themselves as leaning to the left. I believe this is due in part to the strong dedication to service to others in the hopes of leading to a more just society. This "service to others" DOES NOT include the allegations against current and former Catholic priests.

It is true that historically, a vast majority of Catholics have a strong opposition to abortion. According to the findings, this isn't necessarily the case. Catholics are split on the issue: 48% believe abortion should be legal in most cases, with 45% illegal. The Catholic church itself, with all its doctrine and high-and-mightiness, may be opposed; but apparently its followers live in the 21st century.

I am not a follower and refer to myself as a "recovering Catholic", but I indeed live in the 21st century.

Strong military history

Numerous members of my family (grandddad, uncle, cousins) have served in the armed forces and my parents were civilian employees. The Navy, to be exact. Traditionally, the armed forces and the GOP go hand in hand. In a non-scientific poll of my friends and family currently serving or having served in the armed forces, this would be proven correctly.

However, this "tradition" can also foster ignorance (and perhaps stupidity). Case in point: during the 2008 election, a co-worker saw that I voted prior to coming into work. The conversation that ensued:

Ignoramus: Oh did you vote for your man McCain?

Me: How is McCain my man?

Ignoramus: Your dad was in Navy so you voted for McCain because he's a Navy veteran.

Me: Umm, no I didn't.

It's true. I proudly voted for Obama. And you know what? So did my dad.

Overall, I believe it's the experiences (not circumstantial facts) that leads one to their beliefs - religious, political and otherwise - that make each one of us the person we are today. My parents gave me the blueprint; I built the model known as Bec. Politically, Bec is a liberal Democrat.

But in the grand scheme of things, it's a model that really doesn't fit into any mold.

facebook folly?

Just out of curiousity, I checked out the We're not Crazy, We're just Catholics facebook groups as one of my friends had recently joined AND I was raised Catholic. Yes, I chuckled at some of the statements.

Then I looked at the advert on the page; a Give A Gift of a gay pride button. Um, last I checked the Catholic Church was not one of the most gay-friendly religions. Yes, I chuckled again.

Apparently these adverts are indeed random.