yes, for real...

I have gotten "interesting" messages via online dating sites before...but, yeah...I can't make this up:

Hi! I like your profile, and I would love to hear from you. I am a crossdresser with a pantyhose fetish looking for an open minded woman to roleplay fantasies with. 

The guy gets props for not being shy and up front about his fetishes.  And while I'm pretty open about things, how does one respond to that?

can we go back to the old way?

Whatever happened to the good old days where you met a significant other through friends or common activities?  I think I want those back...

Let's face it.  I'm a social person.  I like meeting people...in person.  The interwebs are a great tool and all, but nothing really beats meeting someone in person and striking up a conversation (in my opinion anyway). I get the whole notion that online dating sites allow you to "weed out" people - or in my case, find out how bad your grammar really is or your propensity to use texting talk (read: how r u?) in a message.  Ok, to be honest, I hate texting talk (even whilst texting) but for a text, it is what it is. But really, you can only hide behind the mask of technology for so long...

That being said, I have met a few people I've conversed with online.  It's been fun and interesting...to say the least.  A majority of the guys have been recently divorced after 10+ years of marriage and are looking to get back in the dating scene.  That is respectable.  They have been decent conversationalists and overall cordial.  With one I ever had a conversation about the whole Tebow trade (only I could work Tebow into a date...geesh).  

However, I have noticed a couple commonalities with the guys I've met:

They all hunt in some capacity.  Again....why???  It's a horrible assumption that a female who likes sports is ok with hunting - which I don't view as a sport, I view it as killing an animal  (but I've blogged about this at length already). But I'll talk your ear off about sports, especially NHL at this moment. And oddly, being a Cubs fan is not a deterrent.(and a side note: not a lot of NHL fans out there)

They all seem extremely bitter about the demise of their marriage and divorce. Having been there, it's not a pleasant experience. And I get there are issues (personal and otherwise) one must work through after any relationship break-up. But bringing up these issues during an initial date? Really?

So back to searching for "other fish in the online sea", unless I meet someone the old-fashioned way.  

Who knew this modern woman would long for something nostalgic and traditional?

online dating is weird. and annoying.

I have begun to embark on a strange journey....the journey known as online dating.  And let me tell you, I haven't even been on an actual date and I'm already annoyed.

But first, let me talk about the dating sites themselves.  Despite being in the marketing field, I am absolutely horrible at marketing myself (but dammit, I can market the hell out of just about anything else) - thus, writing a profile is somewhat daunting.  Mine consists mostly of one-liners and smart ass comments, and if someone likes that, great.  If not, then we obviously wouldn't get along really well.  That being said, I do actually get people interested in messaging/getting to know me.  And then I look at their profile...

You'd think people would have someone review their profile or use spell check or something.  I swear, half the profiles I've viewed have some of the most horrific grammar and spelling I've seen in my lifetime.   It literally makes me cringes.  I could blame being in marketing (again) where you must proof everything before it leaves the office, but really?  There is a difference between "you're" and "your" - as well as "there", "their" and "they're".  When you write a sentence, don't omit words.  Use the correct tense.  Yes, I may sound like the grammar police but to me, that reflects on your intelligence (or lack thereof).  This is not to say you need to have an advanced degree - or even a degree - but please show some sign of a functioning brain.

The other thing that baffles me is that I tend to attract people that enjoy hunting.  It seems that if I'm a woman who enjoys sports and hiking, it must follow that I would enjoy hunting.  That's fine and good, but I actually state I'm anti-hunting (just goes to show how much folks actually read the profile). WTF?  I know how to shoot a gun and will take target practice.  I like communing with nature.  I fail to see the point of shooting a deer, elk, duck, goose, grouse, etc. - especially since I don't eat said animals (and regardless, I would still not be a fan of killing an animal with a gun).  Thus, I will not date someone who hunts...I just can't.  Fishing is ok as I like boating, but don't expect me to clean the fish or anything like that. 

Then there are a few that aren't so scary, and thus, I feel safe/comfortable enough to give them my phone number so we can text and/or talk - plus that is way easier than going through the dating site all the time.  While some of these "select few" have proofread their profile, their lack of attention to the English language whilst texting drives me batty.  I despise it when people don't spell out "are" and "you", among other words (so yes, many titles of Prince songs annoy me).  Admittedly, I get annoyed when even my brother messages me "R u busy?" Yes, it's a pet peeve.  Grammar aside, it has been interesting.  I also tend to attract people from Racine, Wisconsin (which is another sordid tale entirely) and I've been texting a few from that area.  Thankfully, none of them went to Horlick High - I know WAY too many people from that school despite not be a native Wisconsinite.  

So I've been texting this guy from Racine I'll call "G".  It starts off fine and good, until he sent me the following text on 15 February "I called you last night but you weren't around.  Why not?"  To be fair, he left a message that Monday. Mondays are usually my "detox" night and I don't talk to anyone much, plus I think I was still recovering from an epic Madison weekend.  Not to good have a first convo with someone when you're half-zombie.  Had I been home on Tuesday (VD), I likely wouldn't have picked up as a first convo on VD is too weird.  I still have been texting G (even though the spelling and spacing is horrific in these texts), but it's become relatively apparent that he doesn't have much of a life - and I feel it's important for someone to have a life and have friends.   Based upon texts, I believe G is free every Friday and Saturday; and this concerns me (if you knew my ex-hole, you'd understand).  I am sort of a social butterfly (apparently) and discovered my first free Saturday is 7 April. I say this to verify (and maybe convince myself) that I'm not being a bitch, I really am busy.  Thus, I'm not sure how this one is going to pan out.  I'll continue texting him and see how it goes...

I've actually talked to a person I met online (novel concept, I know) - I'll call him "M".  I'm not making any predictions after one convo, but he appears more promising than G for a few reasons:  

1 - He admittedly has friends that he hangs out with, which is why it took a couple times to catch each other at home 

2 -  He has a good working knowledge of the English language (I know this shouldn't be a big deal, but it is)

3 - He likes hanging out in Bay View and on the East Side

4 - He asked about hashing (a drinking club with a running problem) and thinks it sounds fun

Again, we shall see how things pan out...

I really am trying to keep a positive attitude about dating (really, I am trying...) While it would be nice to meet some new people, part of me is just happy hanging out with my friends and heading out on some sort of crazy new adventure.  

Then again if my VD status of "where is that stupid little fat baby? he may have an arrow, but I have a shotgun" is any indication of where I'm at in the dating realm, it could be a while...

creative geek sheek

I often say "I revel in my creative geekiness".  Over the past few weeks, this couldn't be further from the truth.

It started with a phone call from my dear friend Dan - from the ICU at Froedtert.  Apparently, a pulmonary embolism will land you in ICU.  Yes, it freaked me out.   However, he asked me to essentially run Southeastern Wisconsin Arts Guild (SWAG) for the week he was in ICU.  And in the same (faint) breath, he promoted me to SWAG Vice President.  (note:  I personally never thought I'd be a vice president of anything).  In that one week, I learned quite a bit more about social media and running this little arts & culture information we've got going.  

The good news:  I was able to take what I have learned and apply it to MJ Care's social media sites, which I created and currently maintain.  Yes, I am becoming a little guru in this area.  And no, I'm not going to bombard you with the links.  The better news:  Dan is recovering at home and slowly getting back to work. 

I also created professional  Twitter account:  @rjl_creative.  I swear, I am not a tweet-aholic.  Why a new account, you ask?  The professional account shows potential freelance employers will see I keep abreast on issues and trends in the marketing/communications industry.  My original @beckerbean account follows many a political & social sites (read: Democratic Party & Hash House Harriers).  While I don't care if my friends know my views on politics or that I hash (because chances are, they already do), any professional contacts or fellow marketing communications folks don't need to know. Additionally, they don't need to know my random brain spew.  On the flip side, friends who don't give a crap about social media, design, marketing, etc. don't have to read about it (although I think you should anyway, even if it's just to humor me).  But really, it was to separate the professional and the personal.  

I also updated my resume to add the SWAG position and to match my website (news on that in a teeny bit).  However, I learned I really shouldn't do that at work.  Keith (my wonderful boss) saw me working on it Friday and this morning, he asked me point blank if I was looking for another job.  I had to reassure him that I was just adding the part-time SWAG position.  Apparently, he doesn't want to lose me as an employee - and I really didn't mean to freak the guy out.  Once he calmed down, he did say the design itself was "striking".  I will say, however, it is nice to be needed and appreciated. 

But the biggest news is that my rjlcreative.com site is complete!!!  I will admit that this will always be a work in progress, but all the links are up (and functioning) and it includes all the facets of what I do.  I still need to brush up on HTML/CSS, but I think I did pretty well with my trial-by-fire skills.  Now I just need to get out there and get some freelance jobs.

So if you don't hear from me for a while, I'm likely immersed in a graphic design or a social media site - or perhaps both.  But definitely reveling in my creative geekiness.

my (perceived) absence

Lá Fhéile Pádraig sona duit!

Or in plain English:  Happy St. Patrick's Day!

No, celebrating with a Guinness or two (as green beer is an abomination) is not the reason I've been a slacker (or at least that's my perception) in keeping up in the bloggerverse.   In fact, I've been online quite a bit - but just not here.

The reason for my (perceived) absence is three-fold:  creative ventures, reaction to a shitty Wisconsin governor and happy pills.

Creative ventures are indeed a good thing.  I landed my first official freelance gig as rjl creative in the form of a logo design.  Granted, it was for a law firm and thus, not very "outside the box" design - but I look at it as a foray into new territory.  I can do the whimsy as well as the traditional (even if the whimsy is way more fun). I may eventually get the logo on my website.  I've also been commissioned update the Southeastern Wisconsin Arts Guild blog - for which I designed the logo.  If you're looking for something to do in the arts community in SE WI, check this site out!  

On the "paying the bills job", I've been delving into the world of video editing (which I haven't done since college - and I'm sure the technology has evolved slightly) as well as learning about podcasts and RSS feeds.  As much as I love the graphic design aspect of my job, print media - while still present - is declining.  One can only go so far with graphic design and basic web skills, so I must evolve along with the marketing industry.  This is fine - learning new stuff is fun for me.  And no, I highly doubt this new found knowledge will produce the next SModcast-esque podcast.Who knew that my creative and technical skills would eventually merge?  It frightens me verily....

A shitty Wisconsin governor is not a good thing.  In fact, Scott Walker is a fucking douchebag.  During the past six weeks since his dictatorship over the state's government, I have been reading articles, blogs, etc. about how this doofus is stripping citizens of their rights and putting the state's future prosperity on the backs of the lower and middle class.  Additionally, I commend the Wisconsin 14 for fleeing the state and exposing the current regime for what it really is.  This is not what democracy looks like.

Well, I guess that tells you where I stand on the issues facing Wisconsin.  However, it has prompted me to be more involved in politics (which I strangely like) and stand up for causes I believe in.  Call it the proverbial fire under the ass.  As a result, I have gotten into debates (and some arguments) facebook - particularly regarding the Wisconsin situation.  And really, at this point, I don't care if you agree with me or not - at least realize there is another side to the story (even if I contend you're wrong).  If so inclined, I also have been posting frequently on my Twitter account - some political in nature, some completely random musings (i.e. damn this Greek yogurt is good).

Happy pills are a good-bad thing.  As some of you know, I was having health issues the past couple months.  I wasn't feeling like myself - extremely jumpy, having "worst case scenario thoughts", insomnia, etc.  After numerous tests (my cholesterol, vitamin levels, thyroid, blood sugar are all fine), I was diagnosed with GAD (general anxiety disorder).  Yes, this surprised me as much as anyone.  But in reviewing the past 2.5 years, I realized I've been through a lot of shit (with some good sprinkled in) and quite frankly, I'm surprised it took this long. 

I can tell you anxiety meds are not fun.  The first one gave me acid reflux - and for someone who never has even had heartburn prior to this, that was interesting.  The second one gave me killer headaches.  If that's what a migraine is like, I never want to experience one.  Finally, the third time is the charm (I hope).  It's been a week and so far, so good.  Although, this may hinder me in hoisting more that a couple pints 'o Guinness this evening. 

Sláinte! ~ Cheers!

"to the cloud"

For those of you who are not aware, Windows 7 has supposedly created an "easy Photoshop type application" as part of the "Cloud" platform - although the terms "easy" and "Photoshop" usually don't go together for the novice or unexperienced user. As a result, the phrase "to the cloud" was born - as evidenced by the commercial below:

I found this commercial humorous to begin with. However, after seeing the attempts at a Loss family photo this Christmas, "to the cloud" takes on a whole new meaning and is now personal (see below). My apologies to my sister-in-law Kelly - we really didn't give you a lot to work with (and trust me, I know you only shared the "good" ones).

Now that I view these photos, I don't even think "the cloud" could help us....

*sigh*