hey ms. dj...

I have been in a nostalgic mood lately.

I've not only found my cassettes from my old radio WMUR - Marquette University Radio shows, I find myself listening to them. There are moments I miss being a DJ, but I opted against radio as a career because there's no money in it. For some reason I thought Sociology/Social Welfare would rake in the bucks. Ha ha ha. Talk about college junior wisdom. Despite only being involved with radio as a listener, my time at WMUR has had a bigger impact on my life than I would have expected.

The obvious influence would be musical. In high school, I liked some of what would be called "alternative" but I was pretty much a rock girl with some new wave and pop infusion. During my time at WMUR, this genre called "grunge" started a music revolution of sorts...and I was there in the middle of it. Nirvana, AIC, Pearl Jam...you name it, we likely played it. MUR was also big on Wisconsin's own, the BoDeans. I also heard of the Goo Goo Dolls long before "Name" and that song off "City of Angels". In fact, their debut CD is somewhere in my CD stash and the song "Just The Way You Are" (no, NOT a cover) is still awesome. Of course, there was the not-so-common and the obscure...the Dead Milkmen and the Rainmakers, for example.

Looking back, the music I once spun has influenced the music I listen to today. I will maintain that the early-to-mid 1990s was the best span of music created in our lifetime (thus far). However, my main genre continues to be alternative music - both classic and current. You'll still find me listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers, REM and older U2; bands who are around today due to college radio. I also love hearing new and emerging artists such as Billy Talent, Rise Against, MGMT and Alexisonfire...and I wonder how the music scene will evolve. Hopefully, it's back to the artistry and individuality of the 1990s, but only time will tell.

The other main impact is not so apparent. You wouldn't know it today, but I was shy in high school. Sure, around my friends I was fine but otherwise I could barely give a three minute presentation in speech class. I couldn't tell you why. Maybe I didn't feel I fit in (which was probably true). Maybe I wasn't comfortable with myself at that awkward puberty stage, and for a late bloomer, it was even worse. For these reasons and others, I decided to high-tail it out of Maryland and attend college elsewhere. Elsewhere ended up being Marquette.

Upon arrival as a freshman, I knew absolutely no one. While it was daunting, I realized that almost everyone else was in the same situation. I figured the best way to meet people outside my floor was to join some sort of student organization. As with any college, there were a plethora of clubs, organizations, etc. and radio piqued my interest. Let's face it, as a shy person I still liked to talk if I was comfortable with the situation. So I joined the radio station. The first semester was just learning the ropes and maybe doing on-air stuff. Second semester I was paired with an upperclassman to teach me the ropes so I could have a show of my own.

Well, it was a freakin' blast...and I fell hook, line and sinker. With radio it's just you, a mic and a remote audience. Since no one actually saw me, it was easy to put myself out there. It was a perfect fit for someone who will still joke that she has a face for radio. Radio also allowed me to express my individuality through music selection, studio guests, DJ babble, etc. Furthermore, I learned my brand of rumor (in moderation) translates well to radio. But really, my time as a DJ served as a platform for me to come out of my shell...although I'm sure some people wished I would have stayed in.

Back to those radio show cassettes...I still dislike my voice. My Maryland "o" is prevalent, and I'm strangely happy about that. I discovered that I still am amused by the content of the shows and my dorkiness, which much like the Maryland "o", hasn't wavered. And most importantly, I learned (in front of those ten listeners) that I can indeed be comfortable in my own skin.

So if you give this girl a mic, you never know what might happen...

birthday wishes 2010

On Monday, it occurred to me that it was four weeks until my birthday. This usually begs the question: "What do you want for your birthday?"

As a kid, the list was long and plentiful. There were always toys, books and games (board and video) to be had. Even as a somewhat materialistic kid, I looked forward to my bday party with friends which started as a day at CJ Park and in later years evolved into slumber parties. And I'm sure an O's baseball game and apple pie (instead of cake) were involved somewhere. As an adult, it's a hard question to answer. If I want something like a book, I usually just buy it. If I want to see my friends, I just do - no birthday party needed. Now if I could just get my mom to send me apple pie...

Yes, the concept & celebration of birthdays do change as we get older but one thing remains the same - we all have birthday wishes. Each year, I have a friend who compiles her birthday wish list. Some of the items are material, some far-fetched, some realistic. Inspired by her, I have come up with my own birthday wish list for 2010:

• promote/develop my freelance design "business" (using that term loosely)
• a MacBook
• take more photographs (those of the artsy, landscape variety)
• learn to play bass
• catch up with friends I haven't seen much in the past year
• keep in touch with friends I actually see
• visit friends in faraway places - specifically those in Florida, Arizona and Connecticut - who I keep promising I'll visit
• teleportation to see said friends and my nephews more often
• travel internationally without my mom
• the adapter thingie that allows you to use your iPod in the car
• a Wii Fit
• lose that last 20 lbs
• manage my finances more effectively
• actually watch some shows I've DVRed
• become more involved with the K-Family again
• world peace (sorry I had to)
• instead of complaining about something, do something to change it

Is everything included on this list attainable? Doubtful...that's why it's a wish list. But I guess really don't need or want much of the materialistic this year. I've been fortunate, albeit too busy on occasion to do some of the things I'd like to do. Maybe the actual acknowledgement of those things in writing will inspire me to start on at least some of them.

As another birthday looms, I can't complain. I'm generally happy, relatively well-off in the grand scheme of things, loved by my family (for some reason) and surrounded by good people. A girl can't ask for much more than that.

summerfest = bummerfest

Music. Food. Friends. The Lakefront. Sounds like a recipe for a fabulous time, right?

Well, yes..in theory. The Big Gig, aka Summerfest, has touted itself as "the world's largest music festival". This indeed is true. I mean, where else will you find an event that runs for 11 days with 11 stages filled with all different genres of music.

I myself have been a frequent goer to The Big Gig (including one year where I went seven of 11 days) since my early 20s when I adopted Milwaukee as my "home". Yearly, I had the obligatory Saz's Sampler (sour cream & chive fries, mozz sticks and cheese curds) and a cold, frothy beverage...well, maybe more than one. My college roomies would converge on the fest for at least one day, and likely find others we knew along the way.

But really, Summerfest is all about the music! In my early fest-going days, you could get "hand-stamped' for the main stage - meaning you lined up outside the gates, paid general admission (about $10 at the time) and rushed the Marcus to get that coveted stamp. What did it get you? "Free" grass seat admission to the main stage. As a result, I've seen the following for $10 each: Prince (2x), BoDeans (2x), Violent Femmes/Goo Goo Dolls, Stone Temple Pilots, John Mellencamp, Bon Jovi, Smashing Pumpkins...to name a few.

With the firing of Bo Black (RIP) as Executive Director and the hiring of Don Smiley (coincidence, seeing the logo of Summerfest), this fine tradition died - and the music died as well.

Don't get me wrong, there is still music at Summerfest. However, the music aimed at the mid 30s to early 50s crowd (plus their expendable income) and their children - aka classic rock, pop and country. Case in point, I give you the 2010 headliners:

Classic rock: Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers w/ZZ Top, Eric Clapton w/ Roger Daltrey, Santana w/ Steve Winwood, Rush

Country: Tim McGraw, Brooks & Dunn w/ Kellie Pickler, Carrie Underwood

Poppy Crap: Justin Bieber w/ Sean Kingston, Usher (sans "Yeah"), American Idol tour

I realize that Tom Petty loves Summerfest and vice-versa, and I understand (per my brother who incidentally falls in the target audience) he puts on a great show. But think about it...all the classic rock main stage acts were making music/touring before I was born. Really? The only "new" acts (or at least acts that came of age this millennium) you could find were able to book country and this poppy crap trying to pose as music?

Now I realize that not everyone likes alternative/new rock genre (even though it's the best in my opinion), and that for some odd reason, the general populous likes country music. I also realize that Summerfest as a business needs to make money, and apparently the classic rock and country acts will rake in the dough more than the others. But I ask...where the hell is the alternative genre represented?

I would say on the side stages, but nope. In perusing the schedule most of it is made up of classic rock/80s music including: Night Ranger, Wang Chung, Kool & the Gang, Blue Oyster Cult, 38 Special, Moody Blues, YES, Scorpions and Peter Frampton. True, there are some good songs in this group of aging acts which I like - and I totally rock "Burnin' for You" by Blue Oyster Cult at karaoke. But I seriously thought Wang Chung and Kool & the Gang were dead. And none of these acts have had anything new since about 1990.

I did find some bona fide "new" alternative music, which by Summerfest standards, means their first hit occurred after 2000: Toyko Police Club, Cage the Elephant, Puddle of Mudd, The Bravery and Against Me! That's a mere five of hundreds of acts.

I believe my genre of music just got bitch-slapped by a smiley face.

what.a.difference.a.year.makes

It was a year ago I was asked to resign as my role as CKI (Circle K) Administrator due to an incident I will not disclose here. That resignation came with mixed emotions.

I still feel I was not given a fair opportunity to explain my side of the story; and that the decision would have been the same regardless of what I said or did. I still feel that I let people down, even if it ultimately was not my decision. I miss the comradery shared amongst CKI'ers and my fellow administrators; a comradery that, aside for a handful of folks, has fallen completely by the wayside.

Truth be told, I was planning on resigning at the end of the 2009-2010 year on my terms. It definitely didn't happen that way. It's almost as if the door known as the five-year stint as Administrator/Ass't Administrator was abruptly slammed in my face; yet ironically there was no real closure.

However, when one door closes another door (or more) opens...

In hindsight, not being CKI Administrator allowed me to focus on areas of my life, areas that had been neglected due to time limitations. These areas included (but were not limited to):

friendships

creative endeavors

relationships

friendships

Being CKI Admin took up about 13 weekends per year (not to mention other events, phone calls, etc that would pop up now and then). I don't begrudge any time I spent with CKI, but it shot my weekend social life to hell. "I'm sorry. I have a Circle K event to go to" was a phrase I used rather frequently. It also made it difficult for me to meet non-Kiwanis family new people.

I've been lucky to meet a lot of new people in the past year, and being a people person, that makes me happy. I've also reconnected with "seasoned" friends, which is also a great feeling. However, I will focus on one circumstance; it just seems to fit for this time of year.

About the time my weekends again became my own, I started playing bar league volleyball again (after a two-year hiatus). The way this team was assembled was unique - I'll just call it the "Reid factor". Each team member knew Reid somehow; whether it be previous vball teams, chance meeting at Tracks or doing yoga headstands at a WH3 event. Whatever force bought this motley crew together, we became the new (and supposedly improved) "suns of beaches". However, it was clear we shared a like for alcoholic beverages and having fun. Fun is good; and it served as a welcome diversion to the whole CKI thing. These SoBs also served as support through my hand surgery and my move this summer; just mere months after meeting. This also led to playing on another team, Sand Pimps. (Yup - I'm a sun of beach and a sand pimp. My parents would be so proud!)

This was exactly what I needed - having fun times with a great group of people. A year later, we're still ballin' in the same bar leagues in Milwaukee and Reid makes "guest appearances" when his travels take him across the border. Comradery still exists...sometimes you just have to look for it.

creative endeavors

Some people would figure I'm creative every day, being a graphic designer at work and all. True, I am creative at work. It's why I like my job. Yet any creative energies (or energy in general) was consumed by CKI. I'm always happy and honored to lend my talents when needed, but it didn't allow me the freedom to explore.

That being said, the outcome of my work projects have been more creative and innovative. Instead of just thinking outside the box, I've come close to blowing it up. I've been doing some freelance work as well, some of which I'll actually be getting paid for! What a concept, eh? More importantly, I've revisited two creative areas that I haven't had time for in recent years: writing and photography.

Writing....well, you're reading the fruits of that labor now. I write for my own enjoyment and if someone else likes it as well, even better. Photography was an art I showed interest in during my high school days, but after a semester it was evident that me in a darkroom was a disaster in the making. My interest wasn't renewed until I went on a Baltic cruise in June 2006. Maybe it was the charm of Galma Stan in Stockholm or the intricacies of churches in Russia and Estonia but my interest was renewed. Yes, I am now a camera geek and have one with me 90% of the time. I have the photo blog to prove it.

Oh, and I keep saying I want to learn bass. No comment on that (lack of) progress.

relationships

Since my marriage ended in stellar fashion, I admittedly was a bit gunshy. While I did date during my time as Admin, it proved somewhat difficult. Yes, the schedule of events and necessary time commitments played a role. I also think I used it as a crutch, meaning I couldn't become involved because I needed to dedicate my time to CKI. Call it fear of rejection, call it penance, call it whatever you want - it wasn't healthy.

A year ago, that crutch was gone (although I received a snazzy new pair of metal ones in January). There was nothing holding me back; I had to put myself out there. And it's a good thing I did.

The Sunday I should have been been coming home the CKI spring trainer in the Dells, I instead found myself at my friend Judi's "Thanksgiving in April" gathering. Delish food, interesting and fun conversation...and the stealing of gray baseball caps. Well, Doug's gray baseball cap. I think this gathering was the first time I talked with Doug beyond the obligatory "Hey, what's up?" at karaoke. Apparently, he found me interesting and we talked quite a bit at the next karaoke gathering, which lead to the following message on fb, aptly titled (and still titled) "pokes": I had a hell of a lot of fun tonight. I always seem to have quite a bit of fun when you're around. You owe me drinks. That is my clever/coy way of saying we should hang out again sometime. This "might" be lame although I doubt I'm even possible of being lame, but we should go out sometime, just the two of us... I wanted to ask you in person tonight but I felt like I ran out of time. (yes, I had to search in message archives for it...)

So it began. Doug's not sick of me yet, or so he says. And he can even tolerate the fact that I am a (gasp!) Cubs fan.

Am I upset that I am no longer Admin? No. But I wish it didn't end under the circumstances it did nor the repercussions that followed. Do I like having my weekends free and the ability to to have a social life? This may be self-centered, but yes.

Most importantly, I'm happy. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

the day the music died, "gen X" style

Sixteen years ago today...8 April 1994.

The day we learned that the life of one of the most influential and iconic rockers ever came to an end. Kurt Cobain, best known as the lead singer & songwriter of Nirvana, was found dead at his home in Seattle.

Officially, Cobain's death was ruled a suicide by a self-inflicted shotgun wound on 5 April 1994 per the coroner's report. However, the cause of death remains a topic of fascination and debate. Conspiracy theorists claim Cobain was murdered (presumably by Courtney Love) but results are inconclusive.

Cobain changed the face of rock forever by introducing the world to his now famous sound (labeled "grunge" by the populous) to the music scene, inspiring bands like Alice In Chains and Soundgarden in the 1990s and Puddle of Mudd in the 2000s, to name a few. As a result, alternative rock catapulted to the mainstream and became a dominant genre on radio and MTV in the early 1990s - and effectively ending the reign of the new wave/electronica sound of the 1980s. Rolling Stone ordained Nirvana the "flagship band of Generation X" and anointed Cobain "spokesman." As a private person - almost the stereotypical, misunderstood artist if you will - Cobain was uncomfortable with the anointment and the attention that followed. Focus turned to Nirvana's music and artistic message, resulting in In Utero (1993). This ended up being the band's last "new" work.

I remember first hearing about Cobain's death and sincerely thought it was a joke (a sick joke, but a joke nonetheless). Then I did what anyone would do to verify music news in the 1990s - I turned on MTV. Kurt Loder then confirmed the news of this tragedy. I'm convinced he was on 24/7 covering this story. Fans and admirers alike flocked to memorial services (especially in his hometown of Aberdeen, WA) - much the same as they did with John Lennon's death in 1980. While the similarities between the two aren't readily apparent, both were major rock artists with the balls to openly and freely speak their mind on a variety of topics. That's something that only comes along once a generation.

The untimely death of Cobain had lasting effect on the world of music. The grunge movement embraced acceptance and individuality - artists were encouraged speak their mind and put their own original spin on it - dare I say "come as you are"? The year 1994 not only marks the loss of an artist barely at the brink of his potential, but a regression in the music industry (read: grunge is dead). The door was opened for "pop sensations" such as N*Sync, Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. It is debatable if there is indeed talent there, or if this "talent" was generated through the miracle of drum machines, etc. Think of it as the 1980s new wave, part two. The days of individuality - gone.

Thankfully, the 2000s have brought about artists with a "real band" sound such as Billy Talent and Rise Against; not to mention the reunion of Soundgarden at Lollapalooza 2010. However, one does have to wonder how the alternative music scene would have evolved had Cobain lived.

Oh...nevermind....

information taken from Rolling Stone, MTV and Greg Prato

this is the year....

...but not judging from yesterday's game.

Granted, there are still 161 games left to be played and one game does not a season make. However, if yesterday's outing versus the Atlanta Braves is any indication, Cubs nation is in for a bumpy 2010 season.

Carlos "Big Z" Zambrano made his sixth straight Opening Day start Monday, a Cubs record. He also managed to have the worst Opening Day start leading to the worst Opening Day loss since 1884. In 1-1/3 innings, Big Z allowed eight runs on six hits, hit a batter, and mixed in a throwing error for good measure. In case you're wondering, that calculates to an ERA of 54.00. Unacceptable, yet not the worst outing of the day - Jeff Samardzija gave up six runs in 1/3 inning for a "stellar" ERA of 108.00. If this is how the Cubs opens the season, I shudder to think of what the rest of the pitching staff will serve up. Hopefully, the arrival Greg Maddux as assistant to the GM (among other roles) can assist the Cubs in their pitching predicament. Hmmm....maybe he'll come out of retirement...

However, there is a light at the end of the pitching tunnel. Sean Marshall pitched two scoreless innings in middle relief. Thank goodness someone could effectively throw the ball over the plate. Also, there is a semblance of an offense. Scoring five runs is promising and pretty damn good - provided Cubs pitching is effective on the flip side. Aramis Ramirez (read: Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra) knocked in a two-run homer while Marlon Byrd (read: replacement for the douchbag of an outfielder who sadly symblized the 2009 campaign) added a three-run homer.

Thus, despite a train wreck of an opener there is hope in Cubs nation. C'mon, we've been hoping for what is going on 102 years...and we won't be stopping now...

chew on this chuckie...

I don't normally listen to Charlie Sykes on AM620-WTMJ. He's way to Republican-happy, Democrat-bashing for my tastes...and I can handle a bit 'o bashing.

However, today I just so happened to get into my car to hear Sykes state "All politicians lie." This had to be the most intelligent thing I'd heard from him. Wait for it... Then he decided to continue blabbering and ONLY name Democrats (read: President Obama) who lie and using low-ball tactics to get elected, thus leading to unfulfilled campaign promises.

Excuse me? Only Democrats lie to get elected? And what about Karl "Low-Ball Tactics" Rove? Didn't we have eight years of unfulfillment?

It should be obvious by now that I'm a Democrat and a relatively liberal one at that. And it really grinds my gears (thank you Peter Griffith) that people - especially conservatives - haven't even given Obama a chance to succeed, let alone fulfill any campaign promise. Obama still has three years to fulfill his campaign promises while "W" somehow managed not to fulfill promises over eight years.

Here are just a few examples of broken promises by the GOP:

• Promise: Make health insurance affordable for hard-working, low-income families. In 2000, 43 million Americans were without health insurance. Reality: Ten years later, 46 millions are without health insurance. Premiums have increased by 12.5%. Do the math. More people are currently uninsured and it's less affordable.
• Promise: Fully-fund the Pell grant program for first-year students with a maximum amount of $5100. Reality: The Pell grant amount was frozen at $4050 for three consecutive years. That's about $1050 short of $5100.
• Promise: Income tax cuts will benefit all Americans, especially moderate and low income families. Reality: The top 20% of earners received 70% of the tax cuts. This must be some new math I'm unaware of.
• Promise: The debt will be paid down to a historically low level. Reality: At the end of his term, the national debt was a record high of $7.3 trillion. This really needs no explanation.

And W couldn't even fulfill his promises with a Republican Congress.

Chew on that Chuckie.

information taken from Bush-Cheney website, CBS, Center for Policy & Budget Priorities, Census Bureau and USA Today